Schoolchildren can face some terrible problems with bullying, inappropriate relationships, or peer pressure, but the child who studies at home alone may truly face loneliness. Even if there are other
children in the neighborhood, they may be closer to one another from spending time together in school, and it can be hard for the homeschooled neighbor to join in and feel like a full part of the group.

Those of us with large families may find it hard to imagine that our children could be lonely. Still, the older sibling who helps care for younger children may not feel that the little ones are friends as
much as chores, however beloved. The young child with plenty of older siblings may not have a playmate who likes the “baby games” that are age-appropriate.

Both of these challenges can be met with homeschool groups and associations, church friendships, and community groups. Yet some parents, determined to make sure that their children don’t lack for peer group interaction, set aside their own needs so much that they end up lonely themselves. A parent who stays at home to teach the children can feel isolated. Mothers of infants often feel
starved of adult companionship, but once their children are older, they return to work or community
service and find themselves making new friends. Homeschool moms, lacking the PTA or the professional organization, can find that this isolation stretches out for many more years.

Some things to think about on this subject:

• Don’t expect loneliness. Sometimes we rush to fill our children’s time with structured
activities, when they actually would enjoy time on their own, or benefit from the opportunity to learn
to entertain themselves. Many of us have found that we have gained spiritual insights and growth from time on our own, and it can encourage creativity as well. If your children feel lonely, address it, but don’t go overboard on preventive measures.
• Don’t be afraid of loneliness. Our life experience as adults tells us that there are times in our lives when we have many friends, and times when we have few.  Studying the lives of the people in the Bible shows us that God blesses people in groups and on their own. We even know that we can be in the midst of a group of people and still feel loneliness. Loneliness can be what God has planned for us at
some times in our lives.
• Don’t ignore loneliness. If loneliness is a problem for your child, or for you, talk about ways
to arrange more opportunities to be in fellowship with other people. Joining groups can be a solution.
So can inviting friends to visit, developing online friendships, or spending time in service to others.
Homeschool parents especially need to be sure not to neglect their spouses. Caring for children can
become so completely the focus of your household that your marriage takes a back seat to homeschooling, and that can easily lead to feelings of loneliness. Whether this is a time in your life – or your child’s life – when God has a plan for you that involves something you can learn from loneliness, or those feelings of loneliness are telling you to step out of your home and serve others or enjoy fellowship with others, pray for God’s guidance and follow His direction. Deuteronomy 31:8 reminds us, “And the Lord, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”

By Shannon Tebben-Sandoval
Published: Monday, December 3, 2007 12:12 PM CST
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Times correspondent

PEKIN – Area school administrators say the recent enactment of the revised Silent Reflection and Student Prayer Act has gone virtually unnoticed in the midst of their busy school days.

The October bill – passed after legislators voted to override a veto by Gov. Rod Blagojevich – changed state legislation that already allowed for a moment of silence in schools if teachers and students wanted to participate, and instead mandated the quiet time.

There are no sanctions written in the law for districts that don’t comply.  

But both Pekin superintendents say the revision hasn’t changed much.      ”We tried to keep it low-key,” Pekin Grade School District 108 Superintendent Bill Link said. “We weren’t trying to create an image that we were encouraging prayer or trying to impose our belief systems on anybody, it was just the fact that this is something we’re mandated to do now and we’re going to be doing it. We leave it up to the discretion of the kids, and that’s why we encourage the parents to talk to their kids about it too.”            

“We didn’t give any directions,” said Pekin Community High School Superintendent Paula Davis. “We just want to give the kids the opportunity to take a moment and use it as they see fit, whether they’re doing silent prayer, whether they’re trying to organize their thoughts for the day, we’re just taking a moment in the day to give students an opportunity to collect their thoughts.”

PCHS conducts its moment of silence after announcements that are read at the beginning of second hour.            

Pekin grade schools have a moment of silence – typically about 10 to 20 seconds long – at the end of their morning ceremonies or announcements.            

Previously, District 108 teachers and staff regularly asked for a moment of silence on certain notable anniversaries, such as Sept. 11, or for more school-specific occasions.

Both districts worked to educate students on the ways they can utilize their quiet moment and District 108 sent notes home to parents as well.            

“It really hasn’t had a major impact on what we do or caused us to do something different, it just really became a part of what was already there,” Link said. “I think at each level the teachers have done a really good job of helping the kids understand what it is and really working with them in that respect.”

Critics charge the change is a thinly veiled attempt at introducing mandated school prayer.  

Chicago-area talk show host and atheist activist Rob Sherman filed a lawsuit against Township High School District 214 in suburban Chicago, where his daughter attends school, claiming the law violates the U.S. Constitution.            

A federal judge in Chicago issued a preliminary injunction that prevents the state superintendent from enforcing the amended law, and set a hearing in the case for Dec. 14.            

Link said several challenges to a similar Virginia law have been upheld in the courts there, and he believes the criticisms revolve around the wording of the law, which specifically uses the word “prayer” in both the title and wording of the statute.            

He said he’s read about a possible movement to remove that wording in the hopes of resolving the controversy.                       

Meanwhile, Pekin students continue to observe the moment of silence, and Link points out the law is still the law while the case is under review. 

And superintendents of both districts say they have not received any feedback from parents, students, or teachers – either positive or negative – about the change.            

“I don’t think we’ve made an overly big deal about it,” Davis said. “The law was put in place, we complied with the law as written.”